MANGLISH???

If other people kata our Engliah is terrible, you can just ignore them. I repeat, ignore them. Who says kita punya English is hampeh? Nooo lah. Just see below English kita ni simple, short, cOncise, straight-to-the-point, effective, cemerlang, gemilang... etc. 
For example...

APABILA HENDAK BERITAHU PELANGGAN TENTANG BERITA KURANG BAIK
Orang Inggeris : I'm sorry Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Orang Malaysia : No stock.

MEMBUAT PANGGILAN BALAS
Orang Inggeris : Hello, this is John Smith. Did everyone page for me a few moments ago?
Orang Malaysia : Hello, who page?

MEMINTA SESORANG MEMBERI LALUAN
Orang Inggeris : Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Orang Malaysia : S-kew me.

APABILA SESEORANG INGIN MEMBELANJA
Orang Inggeris : Hey, put away your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Orang Malaysia : No-need, lah.

APABILA MEMINTA KEIZINAN
Orang Inggeris : Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Orang Malaysia : (Pointing the door) Can ar?

APABILA MERAIKAN TETAMU
Orang Inggeris : Please make yourself right at home.
Orang Malaysia : Don't be shy, lah!

APABILA MENOLAK PELAWAAN
Orang Inggeris : I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Orang Malaysia : Don't want la...

APABILA TIDAK SETUJU DALAM SESUATU PERBINCANGAN
Orang Inggeris : Err... Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Orang Malaysia : You mad, ah?

APABILA MEMINTA SESEORANG MERENDAHKAN SUARANYA
Orang Inggeris : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Orang Malaysia : Shut Up lah!

APABILA BERTANYA SESEORANG SAMA ADA DIA MENGENALI ANDA
Orang Inggeris : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time... Do I know you?
Orang Malaysia : See what, see what?

APABILA BERADA DALAM KEADAAN YANG KRITIKAL 
Orang Inggeris : We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Orang Malaysia : Die lah!

APABILA CUBA MENGETAHUI APA YANG TELAH BERLAKU 
Orang Inggeris : Will someone tell me what has just happend?
Orang Malaysia : What happen? Why like that...???

APABILA SESEORANG MELAKUKAN KESILAPAN
Orang Inggeris : This isn't the way to do it here. Let me show you...
Orang Malaysia : Like that also don't know how to do!!!

APABILA SEDANG MARAH
Orang Inggeris : Would you mind not disturbing me.
Orang Malaysia : Celaka U!!!

~~ SEKIAN ~~